Be honest…when you hear “self-care,” do you almost immediately think: “Yeah, must be nice.”

Fair enough.

Most traditional self-care advice feels like it was written for people without kids, without full-time jobs, or without toddlers melting down at bedtime like clockwork.

But here’s the thing I teach every parent I coach:

You don’t need a weekend retreat. You need five minutes to show your nervous system that it matters.

Enter: microdosing self-care.

Nervous System Care for Small Moments

When you’re constantly giving—emotionally, physically, mentally—your nervous system stays in a chronic state of activation. It’s like your internal battery is always running on 4% (at the very least!)

And when you don’t take time to recharge, your mood is cranky and irritably,  your patience is thin, and your creativity, tolerance, and ability to co-regulate all start to crash.

But here is the very very good news, backed by science.

Your nervous system doesn’t need grand gestures. It just needs frequency and consistency!

Which means small, consistent acts of self-regulation can be just as powerful as big ones, especially when they’re woven into your real life.

What Is Microdosing Self-Care?

It’s not spa days. It’s not bubble baths. Although, those are glorious and I recommend you do those too if and when you can!

It’s:

• 30 seconds of breath before you open the car door
• Savoring your coffee with both hands wrapped around the mug
• Putting your phone down and watching the sky for 90 seconds
• Locking the bathroom door and doing three long exhales
• Listening to music that grounds you instead of drains you (or a great podcast during carpool)
• Saying “no” to a favor and not justifying it

It’s about sending one clear message to your body, over and over again: You matter, I am paying attention to your needs.

A Real Example From a Coaching Call

A mom I work with recently said,  

“I kept waiting for a break to do something for myself. But the break never came. So, I started doing one-minute resets—stepping outside and feeling the sun on my face or stretching while I microwaved dinner. I swear it helped me not snap by bedtime.”

That’s it.

She didn’t need an hour. She needed a pattern interrupt, a moment where her nervous system could downshift out of go-go-go mode.

These tiny moments of regulation add up. They compound.

And over time, they give you just a little more space between stimulus and reaction.

A Few Tiny Things That Add Up

• Set your lock screen to a calming phrase: “Pause. Breathe. You’re okay.”
• Keep a “parent playlist” that instantly shifts your mood (up or down)
• Light a candle or use essential oils during your morning or evening routine
• Swap doomscrolling for 5 minutes of reading something that nourishes you
• Start the day with one empowering question: “How do I want to feel by tonight?”

None of these take more than a minute. But they build your baseline regulation, so you’re not scrambling to hold it together later.

Let Go of This Thought

“If it’s not big, it doesn’t count."

It absolutely counts.

Small care is real care.

Tiny shifts are powerful.

A one-minute nervous system reset might save your whole evening.

The Takeaway

Self-care doesn’t have to mean escaping your life. I don’t want you to need to escape your life to access self-care!

It can mean coming back into your body, one intentional breath at a time.

Inside my coaching program, I help parents come up with realistic, meaningful ways to take care of their nervous systems in the middle of real life, not outside of it.

You don’t need to be calmer, better, or more patient before you earn rest.

You need rest so you can be calmer, better, and more patient.

Start small. Start now. Your nervous system will thank you.

In your corner,
Dr. Sarah